My spiral of self-hate is weighing me down.
Spiralling down in all this bullshit that I make myself go through.
I soak myself into this unholy water –
full of regrets, guilt and shame.
I submerge myself until all I feel is this immense loathing for
myself flowing through my veins.
I carry the act out again and again.
Every day. Every hour. Every minute.
I condemn myself through whispers of acrid comments in my own ears.
Fill my mind to the brim with them.
Until all I am left again is the taste of this bitter feeling,
at the back of my throat.
And all this self-hatred is weighing
me down,
pulling me back from breathing properly.