The title really explains it all. The words in the poem itself are complex and extremely ambiguous which makes it hard to understand it without the context. The confusion and ambiguity placed are deliberate to depict what a person who has severe anxiety goes through. The mind is a place of utter chaos for someone who has any form of anxiety. Written from a personal place this one tackles the intensity of being socially anxious.

Pt.1

A sea of bobbing heads turn
The intense gaze, darkened by suspicion
Every gesture, every word spoken
Is measured and evaluated
Like a hawk on a lookout for its prey
Whispers of worthless words are heard here and there
Flashes of mocking smiles are thrown around,
Unknown to the speakers.
The listeners sit there with a fake air of ignorance
They listen, they shrivel, they bristle, they move on.

Pt.2

The heated scrutiny is overwhelming
Throes of anxiousness awaken
Endless movements derived by nervousness begins
Articulating decent expressions become strenuous.
Sitting uptight alongside rivers of people
Amongst shining faces and golden voices
Suffocating, like a noose around the neck
Feeling little knives in the chest, like breathing through a punctured lung.
Failing to float just above the surface.
The struggle to overcome becomes real.
The urge to flee becomes dominant.
With wobbly legs and cautious smiles,
The flight to paradise is taken.

Pt.3

Breathe in. Breathe out.
It’s all that is said.
Breathe in, breathe out.
When the lips turn blue, and the face
Becomes a white sheet of paper
That’s all that is heard.
When the stomach is twisted in knots,
And the lids are crushed shut.
It’s all that is screamed.
Breathe in, breathe out.
It’s like a broken record,
Played over and over again.
And when the cycle of torment is over
And the agony recedes
Carrying the sword with the armor on
Walk on
Like another passing phase.

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