An ode to my dear mind.
Bearer of my thoughts.
Cause of my tormented existence.
Soon I am setting myself free.
Free from everything.
Free from you.
You, with your meager tendencies
To draw my heart
To depths of complete despair.
You, with your continuous whispers
Ripping me off the hinges of sanity.
Every calculated method,
Every worthless effort to crawl through,
Become futile,
As I feel your harsh grasp
Dragging me down.
Never a moment of peace.
Never an exhale full of relief.
Never the privilege,
Of sinking deep into oblivion.
Never a moment free of doubt,
The perfected fears, the humiliation,
The constant restlessness,
The chains of utter misery.
A continuous cycle of torment.
Caged behind heavy bars,
Scratching the surface of concrete walls,
Wishing and wishing
To be set free.
Every thought is like a,
Blade sliding across the delicate skin,
Puncturing it - ripping it apart.
Should it be the invisible wounds
Or the long scars
Permanently etched into my skin;
Reminders of my every day personal hell.
For every peek in the mirror
Is like being set on fire.
I see all.
All that is wrong with me.
My Imperfections stand to attention,
Gloating at my misery with a sneer.
Each living day is a stab at the soul.
Each living day is like,
Breathing through punctured lungs.
A living disaster waiting to strike –
Is what I am.
I thank you, humble friend,
For those times I thought
Death was eternal bliss.
For those times I shed,
Tears of blood behind closed doors.
For those times, my silent screams
or pleas of relief were unheard.
Thank you. And goodbye.
This is an ode to my dear mind.
Bearer of my thoughts,
Cause of my tormented existence.